The Greatest Living American Writer

Title: The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature
Author: Neal Pollack
Publisher: McSweeney's Books
Rating: A+

I thought I had read great literature. But I was utterly deluded. Prior to reading this collection I did not know what great literature was. To compare Neal Pollack with Steinbeck or Hemingway does him no justice. He is the Greatest Author of All Time.

This anthology spans through several decades of a prosperous career. Throughout it is apparent how influential Pollack has been socially, politically, and sexually. His relationships with powerful people are enough to even make Karl Rove gush.

Pollack's dangerous and invigorating undercover work exemplify what real journalism is all about. In "A Doctor Cannot Save Your Life," Pollack selflessly helps those in need and still has time to shag a dying patient's mother. Another example of Pollack's investigative reporting is brilliantly displayed in "Teenagers: The Enemy Within." Pollack sees a need in this world and fills it. For us to be whole human beings, we must understand the inner workings of the teenage mind. So Pollack risks his own life by hitting on a teenage girl, struggling through a stint in juvie, pretending to be a teenage girl, joining a cult of angry transgendered youths, and throwing a killer rave in Jersey. No other writer in history has ever put their own agendas aside to expose the tender underbelly of America's youth like Pollack.

Not only has Neal Pollack won a lot of awards, he's also ridiculously sexy, even in his advanced age. This is why he gets an A+. But beware: Once you read this book everything else you ever read will be shit. Just shit.

Chicken or the Egg

Title: Cold Mountain
Author: Charles Frazier
Publisher: Atlantic Monthly Press
Rating: A

The book's always better. This is a common phrase attributed when movies portray their wordier counterparts. And it is almost always the case. It is definitely the case with Charles Frazier's Civil War novel Cold Mountain.

If a book has been transformed into a screenplay, I try to read the book first. The reason is that it is hard for your imagination to make up its mind, especially when descriptions in the book contradict what you may have seen in the movie. I struggled with this throughout the novel. I couldn't help but picture Nicole Kidman's gorgeous blonde locks rather than the dark hair commonly referred to in the novel. And with each step of Inman's travels, each struggle he overcame until they got the best of him, I pictured Jude Law's handsome face (which isn't so bad, I must say).

But it does take something away from the reading experience. Maybe I give myself too much credit, but I think my own mind does a pretty good job of visualizing details, people, and events without the help of Hollywood.

Despite my personal handicaps, I concluded this to be an excellent novel. The parallel stories of Inman and Ada paint an accurate picture of the struggles of men and women during the Civil War. The transformation of the two characters due to their personal hardships is realistic. The love story is toned down a bit from the movie version. The two finally reconnect only in the last twenty pages. This makes for a much more enjoyable novel. The focus is more on the issues of the time: death, racism, treatment of women, starvation, slavery, war, nature. Frazier's anecdotes blur the lines between the North and the South. Both kill and die, both rape and pillage. Both are frightened. And all begin to question if all the killing and suffering is worth it.

Charles Frazier gives insight into the human psyche during the Civil War through stories that had been passed down from generation to generation. Although the war ended 140 years ago, some of the same themes carry over into contemporary times. They are important to remember: The lines blur during wars. We all bleed. We all want the same things: to be happy, safe, and get home to our children in one piece.